Will I ever feel like I have enough money? (and A FREE GUIDED MEDITATION)
Ooooh, this is a good one. Money is one of those topics (you know the ones; sex, politics, and race) that really trigger some people. And by some people, I mean me.
I’ve had this push and pull relationship with money for a long time. I still do but I am much more aware of my money issues today than ever before.
In fact, working on my limiting beliefs around money has been my #1 personal goal for the past 2 years.
Buying beautiful things is my jam.
The story I’ve told myself for a long time (and if I’m honest, still sneaks into a hissy-fit every once in a while) is that I’m not one of the lucky ones.
I wasn’t born into a fabulous amount of wealth. I’ve had to work for it. The amount of passion for beautiful luxurious things is insane and for a while, I believed it was unfair that I had this deep desire for things I couldn’t afford.
I realize as I write this how ridiculous this is, but my ego doesn’t care. It just wants to believe this story; come hell or high water.
Side note: Our stories keep us stuck. Our stories exist because they think they are protecting us from pain, serving you in some way. The hard part is seeing how your story is serving you even when it seems impossible. You wouldn’t be holding on to a story unless in some way it was benefiting you (a hard to pill to swallow sometimes).
When I look back, I see that my story about life not being fair made it possible for me to not work as hard or put myself out there, WHICH in turn, saved me from failing, being hurt, and embarrassed by putting myself out in the world.
I would spiral into these woe-is-me parties and blame my money issues on the fact that life just wasn’t fair. Some people just know how to make money or already have money from family/husband/luck.
This story sucked.
It sucked but I still believed it. Even when I was crying on my bathroom floor asking why life wasn’t fair and wanting so badly to change, I still couldn’t give it up.
Finally giving in.
As with most moments of change, I finally came to a place in my life where I couldn’t stand my money story anymore.
I hated feeling broke. I hated worrying about money and where it was coming from. I hated wishing someone, or someone thing would come my way and give me all the money I ever needed.
Now, this isn’t where I’m going to tell you that I found this one tool and it all changed overnight and I now I'm swimming in money and I never worry about it, ever!
That didn’t happen BUT something even better happened, I took one small step forward in the direction of changing my story. I started letting go of the ropes that kept me tied to my story.
This isn’t a get-rich-quick scheme, It’s a get-happy-now scheme.
I made a promise to myself to face my story head-on. I stopped ignoring it and pretending that it didn’t bother me.
I forced myself to get real with these money emotions that I felt a lot of shame around. I mean, from the outside it looks like I have this whole money thing down and I was a pro at hiding my money shame. The shame of wanting more. I already had more than most people, but I wanted more.
This is always the first step of changing anything. I know it’s not all that sexy, but it’s so important to be still with these emotions and feelings.
How the hell do you do that?
And I would’ve never been able to have done that without meditation. Sitting still with myself and my feelings was painful. I can’t explain it but when you start to look at the emotional wounds you carry, you will know what I’m talking about.
This is why a lot of people prefer to carry the wounds around. BUT you will never change your stories without this step. I know this for sure.
Sitting face-to-face with the feelings you’re ashamed of feels like your dying.
I’d been hiding them for so long. Letting them hang out in the open without my usual burying technique felt like being naked in the middle of Starbucks.
But I’m here to help. I’m not promising it going to feel great in the moment, but this guided meditation is the support you need to start out. It’s a hand to hold and a voice (mine!) to let you know it will be ok. I promise.
Download the guided meditation here. Again, it’s 4 minutes long, so I know you can make room for this in your life. Listen to it whenever you feel like.
It’s a meditation for feeling rich when you feel broke. And I’m not just talking about money.
All the love,