Style Rut Reset
5 simple steps to sharpen your personal style
OK, so you're in a style rut. You hate everything you own and wish you could start over, but at the same time, have no idea where to start. While you might think I’m gonna tell you to clean out your closet and give you tips on what pieces you need, I’m not.
I’m a big believer that personal style isn’t something that can be taught. You know what you like, you just don’t trust yourself enough because you’re listening to what everyone else is saying. Social media, advertisements, and even Pinterest can delude you. I’m so passionate about this topic of personal style because I see how easily everyone is looking more and more like each other. Style is such an opportunity to express ourselves, feel confident, and enjoy one of life’s simplest pleasures, dressing well. There is a transformation that happens when one feels good in their clothes, it changes the way we walk, speak, and interact with the world.
In contrast, when we’re unsure and self-conscious about what to wear, dressing becomes a chore and mornings are more stressful. I have seasons of life where I’ve been there, like after I had Jacksonand couldn't fit into any of my clothes. These are the steps I take when I feel I’ve lost my sense of style and I hope they help you too.
1. More is not more
This is ingrained into us from an early age, the idea that the solution to any problem is out there, and it’s for sale. Stop thinking you’re gonna find your style in another store. You have to get clear first. Clear about what you like, which is harder than it sounds. I’m attracted to styles that are very different from what I would wear. You have to be self-aware, but also don’t be afraid to try new things. So much of personal style is how you feel when you wear it and you won’t know until you try it. Try to dip your toe. Don’t go for a full look yet. Buy pants or a top in that style and incorporate it slowly. Add more pieces as you feel more and more confident this is for you. I think thrifting is great for this and websites like www.therealreal.com make it easy to buy and sell if it’s ultimately not for you. Once you do have a good idea of what you want, remember, quality over quantity. Well-made clothes feel better, last longer, and can even be resold.
2. Consume less content
I know you know this, but it’s hard to do. Social media, even Pinterest, dumbs down our unique style making us more and more homogenized. It makes sense. We’re hardwired to believe that assimilating with our peers is safe. It’s hard to follow your instincts when your mind is telling you being different is a threat to your survival. Take frequent breaks from social media to allow your unique thoughts and desires to develop. I try to take the weekends off and plan on doing 4 social media free weeks this year (I’m blogging about it so stay tuned). If entire days or weeks off social media seem impossible, start with time limits. Allow yourself an hour in the morning (at least an hour after you wake up) and an hour in the evening, or whatever feels good for you. Our phones are designed to be addictive. It’s gonna be hard to limit yourself unless you have set a plan in motion.
3. Wear what feels good
When it comes to styling ourselves, we tend to ignore one of our best tools, our intuition. We focus so heavily on how something looks on our bodies, but our years of reading magazines and scrolling social media has warped our sense of what looks beautiful. I implore you to focus more on what feels good. When we feel good in our clothes, we walk, talk, and act differently. We exude a confidence that ultimately is what impeccable personal style is. We are deeply feeling humans, all connected through energy, and when someone is confident and loves what they are wearing, everyone can feel it.
4. Own your uniqueness
Make a choice (yes, I believe it’s a choice) to love who you are. The things that make us different are the things that make us special. This isn't something I can teach you here in a 1,000 word blog. It’s an inside job and some of my other blogs might help steer you in the right direction. Using clothes to hide things you hate about yourself is never gonna work.
5. Shop strategically
Shopping shouldn’t be a reaction to an emotion, like not feeling good enough. I know, I’ve been there. We all do it, just make sure you can return it. You should always have an idea of what you need before you go shopping (online or in-store) and stick to your plan. Stores spend a lot of money on research to manipulate you to buy more, don’t get trapped. I think making a list on your phone as you need things is a great idea. It’s easy to get in a store and get sidetracked by a bright-colored sweater when you’ve been telling yourself for months you need more tailored trousers. I have a great blog post about how to shop a store, check it out here.
Well there you have it. I hope you found these steps helpful. I know it’s all written out quite simply, but some of these tips are gonna take more work. Let me know what you struggle with and if anything I mentioned here was new to you.
jodi xx