I’m bringing manners back. How donuts are helping me shift my lack mentality.
It was a Tuesday, not too early, and I was running late ... as usual. I was about 4th in line at what I like to call my Dunkin Donuts. It’s situated perfectly on the drive to a weekly client visit, making this particular location mine.
I was going over my order in my head because I didn’t want to be that person, holding up the line with indecision and tedious questions. Already over thinking, right?
As I was was doing this, a little voice came to me and said, “Stop rushing so much. Maybe the person on the other end of this speaker needs some love.”
As I’ve talked about in my last post HERE, I’m coming to terms with my authentic way of moving through life and one of my biggest blocks that holds me back is worrying so much about what others will think of me/how I come across ... because I need to be liked.
Dying to be heard
As with most conversations I have with myself, I usually can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel until much later, but on this particular day, my authentic-self was dying to be heard.
“Stop worrying about what other people think! Be yourself and do what feels natural.”
When the girl on the other end of the line asked me for my order, instead of cutting right to the chase with my almond milk latte with one pump of sugar-free french vanilla greeting, I took a deep breath and said, “Hi, how are you today?”
There was a little weird silence on her end and I started to feel like I made the wrong decision. She answered me in a rush and got straight to my order. I’m not gonna tell you how this one meeting has changed my life or hers, but it started a chain reaction in me.
I found myself taking the time to say hi and ask how everyone was doing in my life that I normally don’t; the cashier at Publix, the guy behind the line at Chipotle, etc. It has become part of my routine.
current mood board
*All images are sourced from Pinterest
Lessons I’m learning
This one small habit has given me so many ah-ha’s, and here are a few:
1. Helping shift my lack mentality.
Time is one of those things I’ve never felt like I had enough of. The feeling there won’t be enough time to write, or to get done everything I want to, or work out, etc. has been a part of my mental chatter for as long as I can remember I had mental chatter.
Taking the time (which is usually a minute or less) to greet people I come into contact with on a daily basis is retraining my mindset. Little by little, I’m showing my ego that I do have the time and it’s improving my quality of life.
2. Our life is composed of the little things we do every day.
The mundane, the menail. The culture of social media where every day has to be extraordinary is ruining our sense of reality. I’m not running around every day looking like a fashion blogger, drinking beautifully made lattes, and sunbathing near crystal clear water. (Well, sometimes Florida beaches are seriously amazing ;) )
I know I need to take more pride in the little things; the part of life we don’t document, but by no means is less important. It’s the small acts we take every day that make us into the person we want to be and creates the lives we dream of.
3. I’m addicted to instant gratification.
When I’m not successful at something within a week, I think I’ve failed. I’m turning that around. I’m looking at the long game. I’m trying to take pride in the process, not just the beginning or the ending. The middle is where the work is done and the place I least want to hang out.
Now, it’s been about 6 months since I started using my manners more deliberately and I’ve made new friends. My favorite shopgirl at Dunkin Donuts notices now when I’m out of town (“Girl, where have you been?!”) and that I can’t drink cows milk.
There is a sense of friendship between us that wasn’t there before. The time I take to talk to her is a kindness I used to reserve for friends or different situations. I followed my gut and stopped listening to my head, a process that takes time.
Looking her in the eyes and sharing a laugh about morning traffic in that 3-minute window sets me off on a good-feeling path all day long. I used to think I wasn’t much for human connection, being an introvert, I love being alone, but this contact fills me up in a way that meditation, reading, or visualization can’t.
I encourage you to find one way this week in which you can slow down and spend one or two more minutes looking someone in the eye and asking them how their day is going.
If you do, tell me all about it over on my Instagram. These are the stories that need to be heard. Let’s pay the positive vibes forward.
All the love,