Will I ever be good enough? The #1 Limiting Belief & other RIDICULOUS thoughts.
So I decided to go big for this first limiting belief. (Check out last week's blog if you don't know what I'm talking about) This is the mother of all others, that incessant nagging thought; I’m not enough. Yeah, I said it. In fact, I’ve probably thought it more times than I could ever count.
But it took me awhile to even realize this thought existed because it’s a tricky little bugger. You see this simple limiting belief, “I’m not enough”, found its way into every crack and crevice in my life and I was clueless about it.
Let me take you back about 8 or 9 years. I had found my spiritual mentor, Gabby Bernstein, and was attending these small, intimate group coaching classes she held on Monday nights at a yoga studio in the East Village in NYC.
It was during these highly inspiring and educational meetings that I heard about limiting beliefs and how most of us believe we aren’t good enough. That’s why we endlessly seek things like titles, money, sex, drugs, booze, food in order to fill that hole.
“That’s not me. I love myself. I know I’m enough“ is what I thought at first. It wasn't until I started to meditate and witness the thoughts I was thinking every day that I realized my ego was pretending to be confident in order to protect myself from falling apart.
And I (well we, my ego and I) had gotten really good at pretending.
In fact, I bet if you asked any of my friends or family they would had never thought I had issues with thinking or feeling good enough. I was a happy, confident, easy-going girl with big dreams and succeeding at life in every way that society tells us we should; the handsome successful boyfriend, a fancy job at fashion magazine, shiny hair, Chanel bags (yes, with an “s”) and so on.
But isn’t that the secret we all carry?
This is what is so dangerous about this particular limiting belief. We don’t believe other people feel this way too. Especially in this perfectly curated world we live in.
Slowing and Sitting Down
So how did I tackle a belief I didn't even know I had? Well, I started listening to my thoughts. Which means I had to get quiet and slow down.
I started listening to exactly what Gabby told me to do every week. I kept a journal and would write down the thoughts I could catch because they are slippery little suckers. When I noticed myself thinking the same thought a lot, I would write it down.
Then I’d sit my ass down. It was rough at first. One minute felt like ten. I couldn't understand how I was ever going to do this, but one minute turned into two, then three, then five and after just five minutes of meditation, I could totally feel the difference.
Meditation makes your thoughts slow down. Now that they were slower and I could catch them, out them (thank you for sharing but that’s not true), and rewrite them.
When I found myself comparing myself with other women, I could see it for what it was, my limiting belief that I wasn't’ good enough. Once I could see the truth, I could see my ego’s dirty tricks. Making me think I needed a smaller waist, bigger bank account, more clothes, etc. to feel better.
Feeling better was ready and waiting for me on the other side of my meditation pillow, not at Neiman Marcus.
This isn’t going to be easy. I won’t lie to you. Slowing down and being alone with my thoughts has, and still is, the hardest thing but the results and changes I have made through this practice have radically changed everything for me.
Don’t get it wrong, the thoughts don’t go away completely, but you will be able to hear them for the bullshit they are. Once you hear the thought, you will start to acknowledge that it’s not true and just a recording that got stuck.
One of the best lessons I have learned is: just because you thought it, doesn’t make it true.
So, what do I do? I meditate. I meditate when I don’t what to, when it’s hard to sit still, when the thoughts won’t stop. I meditate.
Mediation doesn't have to look like anything nor follow any rules. You just have to find what works for you. In the next blog, I’m going to explain the different methods I have used (because I have used a lot) and hopefully help you find your flow or at least some inspiration.
Trying to reprogram your thoughts that have been living in your head for 20, 25, 30 years is no joke. It will take some effort on your part. But aren’t you ready for a change?
Let me know in the comments what's your biggest block to slowing down and stay tuned for the next blog where I'll give you lots of tips that have helped me greatly.
All the love,