Monthly Update

It's almost halfway into my Happiness project and it's not quite how I imagined. I definitely think I overshot a lot of my expectations, not because I haven't been able to accomplish a lot of them but because I am not able to keep up with them month-to-month. I didn’t think about how long it really takes to incorporate a new habit into your life… not just 30 days. It feels a little overwhelming to carry over 5 habits every month. Fortunately, some habits become more natural. Even if I don’t do them daily, I still do them more often.

I also wasn't able to know how I would feel each month when I wrote these habits in January. This month is a perfect example of that because it’s a tough month. Elizabeth’s birthday is this month and she would be 2 years old. I thought it would get a little easier but it’s hitting me pretty hard. I’ve been crying most days. The memories and emotions flood my mind and I feel lost all over again. I want to just scratch my habits this month. I can feel depression creeping in, the familiar feeling of avoiding the outside world, keeping everything close to home, and asking myself the same stupid question, “why me?”

I reached out to my therapist so I have that appointment coming up, which I know will help. Even though I want to forget about habits this month, I still want to put some goals in place. While I feel like doing nothing, my family still means everything to me. I want to be a better wife/mom/daughter/sister for them. In between the bouts of darkness, they are the sunshine. 

May’s Habits:

• Set the table for dinner

• Listen to music at home during dinner

• Buy flowers every week

• Cocktail hour

• Dress for every occasion

• Light candles

I’ve already implemented three of these goals because they make me so happy: buying flowers every week, lighting candles, and dressing for every occasion.

So this month my goals will be: 

• Cocktail hour 

• Listen to music more often

• Make traditions (which is a habit from April)

Cocktail hour, for me, is about intention. Not just drinking, but taking a moment in the evening to greet my husband, talk about our days, and connect. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the routine.

Listening to music should be easy. Jackson loves music and when I play it, he is so happy I just need to do it.

Making traditions is also already in place. I’ve been trying really hard to make an effort for family and friends’ birthdays. I have my 3 year-anniversary coming up and Elizabeth’s birthday, which we have already started a tradition that I want to continue with. 

That’s it for me this week. I hope your week is AMAZING! Sending you lots of joy and also comfort if joy isn't possible. 

jodi xx